Another Paternity Leave Installment is here, and this one could ruin your childhood.

When The Wonder Years ended almost 30 years ago, no one could have imagined the incredibly dark turn that Kevin Arnold's life would take. Yes, Mr. Arnold's death, Paul's going to Harvard, and Winnie to a long and successful career on the Hallmark Channel were all disturbing outcomes, but this is much worse. This SVU shows little Kevin Arnold beating, raping, and then re-victimizing women across the Upper West Side. This obviously provides tons of fodder for the Munch mill as we dig into a really great episode of television. We talk Jeopardy! prep, our favorite lawyer lover plot twists, and Josh takes us on a particularly unexpected trip through the shenanigans of the Warwick R.I. city council. Enjoy!

Another week, another Adam's Paternity Leave release, this time we've got the one, the only Patricia Charbonneau, about whom this podcast is centrally concerned. As mentioned last week, this is content that's been behind the Patreon paywall for a while. Patreon payments are frozen for the time being. New Munchies can't join as paying members until that's unpaused, but you can join as a free member and at least be kept abreast of pod news...

When questions like “If I die, and there’s a hot tub, can I be made a saint?” get posed, you know things got weird. This installment in Munchstory has Adam and Josh covering “Streetwise” (S9E11) like a blanket on a mattress—or a society doucher, apparently. This episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit has it all. Mae Whitman going from glitz to gutter and back again. STUNTS! Adam Beach. A bum family complete with a pretty messianic cult leader dad who isn’t afraid to go big. True Munchies will enjoy the diversions through high society, defunct Swedish automotive companies, the conditions necessary for beatification and the Christianization of the Welsh, defunct NYC music institutions, the nature of paintball, and much, much more.

While Adam is on paternity leave, check out this banger:

Thomas Jefferson once declared coffee “the favorite drink of the civilized world,” but the wild world of coffee trading on display in Season 9, Episode 18, “Trade” would seem to imply that it’s also the favorite drink of loaded scumbag fathers who look eerily like the pater familias in the Christian-propaganda family dramedy 7th Heaven. It’s rare to have an episode of SVU with as much gold as this, but in the O’Halloraniest episode in Early Munchstory, the world of coffee trading yields a veritable mother lode for Adam and Josh to ingest. Whether it was the complete lack of understanding as to how to coffee trade actually works or the jaw-dropping shocks delivered at every turn, this glorious wildly inappropriate pun fest delivers the goods. Strap yourselves in and get ready for a jolt because Reverend Camden was let loose, and the ensuing havoc knows no bounds.

What happens when Zack Morris turns up gut-shot in an alley behind a gay bar with multitudinous loads found in his person when he's examined at the hospital? Utter insanity, that's what. Not to be outdone, a young Elizabeth Banks pops up as his adult film star wife, and we go to set where she's about to treat some workmen pretty well. This is a wild one. What a time to be alive.

When the dedicated detectives of Season 1 SVU wander into the world of fashion, you can't help but assume the worst is coming. And it is. Fashion is scary, children, and it's especially scary if you're a minor, as our vics find out. There's a ton of peripheral weirdness in this ep, and we discover yet another TV show that's in the larger SVUniverse.

This one gets all up in the confessional, culminating in a no-holds-barred Catholic-off between Stabler and Father Michael Sweeney (Eric Stoltz--or is it Stolitz?). Red herrings and misdirects abound, and since we're watching an SVU dealing with the Catholic Church, you can assume that some priest were taking some liberties with parishioners of an underage variety. While this one might kick off with some jarring early-season transphobia, it also has a lot of wild fun stuff, and if you weren't paying attention to the priest's name, don't worry, Josh caught it.

In conjunction with this week's interview with Michelangelo Milano, who plays Patrick Binder, Larissa/Brandy's boyfriend in this episode, we are dropping this classic episode back into the feed. Make sure to listen to Michelangelo's interview which dropped today, and check out his podcast, The Return Slot... Of Horror (YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify).

Wanna hear what happens when an episode breaks the Munchie Boys and their patented SVU-episode scoring system? Well, “Possessed” (Season 12, Episode 12) broke it like the Kool-Aid Man. Next to every other of the 96 episodes they’ve watched so far, this beautiful piece of art had Adam and Josh contemplating some pretty grand concepts like: was Jerry Horne’s Twin Peaks walkabout really a representation of the liminal state at the end of his life where he was just looking for his Brandy? what exactly was contained within the pages of Buzz’s skin mags that Kevin couldn’t wrap his head around in Home Alone? where is the line where we progressives can stomach police brutality? are we seeing the tripartite peak of pedo performance?

If this were a podcast that employed trigger warnings, it’d probably have to get tagged with all of them. Instead, you are advised to hold onto your butts. There is simply an abundance of insanity that’s too fantastic to ignore. Bask in the glow of “Possessed,” listen, and rejoice.

When the Randomizer chose an SVU featuring one of the Munchie Boys' all-time favorite actors (Ian McShane) as the Harvey-Weinstein-esque heel in Warren Leight's triumphant return to showrunnerdom, we were understandably excited. While McShane shines, certain choices by said showrunner leave the boys baffled and wishing for what might (should?) have been.

A series of seemingly unconnected rapes forces Fin Tutuola to join forces with a man who never sleeps. A man who knows the precise tenor and pitch of every recycling center's lunch whistle in the city limits. A man who walks. A man named Chester Lake. We also meet our first perpetrator who staffed the Obama White House, and one of the vics totally isn’t Amanda Rollins—she just looks like her, right?

Some very questionable stuntcasting forces the Munchie Boys to wrestle (box?) with Mike Tyson's checkered past while reluctantly acknowledging that he's actually pretty good in this SVU. He's no Andre Braugher--WHO IS ONCE AGAIN INCREDIBLE--but he was pretty effective. Ed Asner's really good at playing a real monster, too. Kind of burying the lede there though because Peter Scanavino pops up in Monster's Legacy, and it's not as Domenick Carisi, so this ep is one helluva brainmelter.

A dead, naked male prostitute is found in a cemetery which leads SVU from hell house to Long Island proto-mega church to the responsible brother from Wings to his accountant over the course of the investigation. Hilarity ensues assuredly.

You'd think that an SVU centered around Scott Bakula tricking his mistress into putting their love child up for adoption would lend itself to hours of Quantum Leap conversation wondering just how Ziggy and Al let this whole situation get this out of hand, and that definitely happens, but so does a dive into a pretty heinous guest star, who lived through some gnarly trauma and then doled out plenty herself.

Just as important though, this episode emphatically chides parents who have the temerity to try to parent AND use their cell phones at the same time, and makes you wonder how more parents aren't clocking clear pedos at the park. If you ever wanted to know how to artificially inseminate your significant other in the comfort of your own home, Adam tries to tell you while Josh derails the conversation. And both Adam and Josh cry during this episode for very different reasons.

Another SVU, another bizarre cult. This time around, a certifiable quack of the cloning-will-save-humankind-from-the-depleting-ozone-layer variety has an entire organization hornswoggling teen girls with low self-esteem into becoming his own personal baby factories. Don't worry, it's not just non-sexual sex cult action we're dealing with this time around. No, we've got police brandishing their weapons and running hilariously, accents that spin you around, and surprising restraint from a cult leader who seems much more interested in playing God than hide the salami. Of course, talk of claims of human cloning took Adam down a strange rabbit hole into the Raëlians, and there are some wildly unexpected revelations with regards to this week’s guest stars, so there’s a ton of munchy weirdness afoot this week.

Alt episode title this week? Her Mouth Is a Melting Pot.

Sometimes Adam and Josh are idiots. In this instance, they glossed over a PRETTY MAJOR plot point in S9E3 Impulsive because they were bored with how SVU generally deals with abortion, totally missing the VERY PROBLEMATIC moment where the Unit essentially arrests Sabrina the Teenage Witch for aborting her rapist's baby. Thankfully, our Munchie Isabel was there to hold us to account in this bonus convo.

This installment of SVU pits very recognizable teacher against an also recognizable student in a he-said-she-gonorrhea'd-me/she-said-he-raped-me exercise in who can we believe for the Unit and the audience. Sure, the teacher is Sabrina/Clarissa, but if we know anything about this show, it's hard to believe the potentially stuntcasted. And, yeah, the kid is basically known for playing quiet lunatics, but they can't both have done it, right? This one's fun AND strains credulity in all the best ways.

We let the Munchies pick this week's episode, and by god did they pick an all-timer. Everybody's favorite cool uncle, John Stamos, shines as a reproductive abuser, and Lori Singer is but the most famous of his many, many victims. This one really has everything we here at Munch My Benson are looking for out of this unique series. Thank you for this marvelous choice!

This episode of SVU is so goddamn fun, guys. Rebecca De Mornay (no, not from the homeless shelter) hatches possibly the most outlandish plot ever devised on network television involving implanted mouth semen and Special Forces assassins, all to ensure that her milquetoast husband only ever has eyes for her. Wild stuff. Obviously there is a TON of stuff to talk about including the 1951 Academy Awards, the unionization of Strip Clubs, Lethal Weapon, the greater Shermerverse, the Bronx Zoo, and the future of this podcast. This is an episode to enjoy with your entire family--provided, of course, that they are down to listen to detailed discussions of the half-life of jizz loads. Special thanks go out to my other favorite Rebecca De Mornay, Sonya Eddy, who has sadly never performed in a Law & Order franchise.

IT IS HERE! LUKE PERRY, Y'ALL.

Are you holding onto your butts? Are you ready to have Law & Order: Special Victims Unit lay waste to your childhood? To destroy the sacred bond you shared with THE heartthrob of the '90s? To see the profound damage said heartthrob did to the very recognizable women he violated after leaving the glamorous environs of Beverly Hills?

In what might be the stuntcastiest episode in SVU's storied history, Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) does some pretty bad things to Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert), Carol Vecsey (Julie Bowen), and our collective innocence. This episode is what started this whole venture back when it little more than a bitchin' name. Yes, via this insane show, Dylan McKay rapes our youth.

What this delightful episode of SVU (S11E18 Bedtime) lacks in terms of coherent three-act structure or thoughtful character development is more than made up for by the absolute cavalcade of bonkers plot lines and instantly recognizable famous people. Ann-Margaret justifiably won an Emmy for her turn as the perma-drunk Rita Wills. William Goddamn Atherton plays a petulant serial killer! Morgan Fairchild gets about 30 seconds of screen time! Liv and Elliot get propositioned for a threesome! Theres so much fun in this episode you're going to have to just dive in and revel in the madness.

Well, if you've ever seen a Season 1 SVU, you'll know that the show worked a little differently back then. If you see this episode from Season 1, you'll gain entrance to a world where things are fully upside down. Here we see tan lines in wildly improbably places, sex-positive waitstaff, disgraced pedophiles who blossom as well-intentioned tailors, train-obsessed teens, and, quite possibly, a travel writer with an unspeakably bizarre kink. As if that's not enough weird, we Munchers go even further off script and dive deep into tainted muskrats, Le Corbu furniture, impossible addresses, and the origins of the Garifuna people. Yeah, we go hard in this one people.