What happens when a trusted pediatrician is found to have extra-medically milked many young boys urethras over the years? Well in SVU, he is brutally beaten to death by one of his former victims who himself was doubly victimized as his Pica led him to eat the lead paint off of cheap toy cars which permanently stunted his development and planted the seeds of his rage. Come for Alexandra Cabot's jaw dropping Season 10 return, stay for Kim Greylek's unceremonious act 2 poochie'ing, and go home with a delightfully detailed breakdown of what exactly blood alcohol content means and whether or not the arrogant rich guy could have blown a 2.2 and kept driving.

IT IS HERE! LUKE PERRY, Y'ALL.

Are you holding onto your butts? Are you ready to have Law & Order: Special Victims Unit lay waste to your childhood? To destroy the sacred bond you shared with THE heartthrob of the '90s? To see the profound damage said heartthrob did to the very recognizable women he violated after leaving the glamorous environs of Beverly Hills?

In what might be the stuntcastiest episode in SVU's storied history, Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) does some pretty bad things to Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert), Carol Vecsey (Julie Bowen), and our collective innocence. This episode is what started this whole venture back when it little more than a bitchin' name. Yes, via this insane show, Dylan McKay rapes our youth.

Today's SVU episode ("Hothouse" S10E12) takes some fairly wild turns between drifting bodies, Ukrainian prostitution rings, elite prep schools, and the New Jersey justice system, but somehow Josh and Adam take it even further. We discuss tide charts, the identity of "the rich man's Brian Brown," the concept of Zugzwang, and the fate of Imre Nagy among many, MANY, other things.

The Randomizer doled out an episode well-suited for the pandemic in which we find ourselves with this week’s installment, “Retro” (S10E5). Martin Mull guest stars as a quack doc who pied pipes his followers to their AIDS-denying deaths. Along their dimwitted death march, we learn about a Gambian dictator who “cured” HIV/AIDS with a secret blend of herbs, revel in dunking on Christian Scientists, and explore how to avoid getting toxoplasmosis, all while dodging the cries of infants contained both within this episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and in real life.

What happens when an accent choice derails an SVU where the initial crime is wrapped up in an open-and-shut murder at minute 19 and becomes a bizarre cold-case-cum-morality-play sans benefit of flashback? Well, the Randomizer selected “Persona” (Season 10, Episode 8), so Adam and Josh found out the hard way. For far from the first time in the run of Munch My Benson, a foreign-born actor plays fast and loose with a wavering accent. This time, the offender was two-time Oscar-nominee Brenda Blethyn, whose presence pulls a certain big gun down from the bench to settle a 34-year-old score. Along the way, the question as to whether this feminist text passes the Bechdel test, the greater concerns raised by Liv’s proclivity towards inappropriate actions, an exploration of just what “vile thing” meant in 1974-speak, and an alternate reality in which Benson DuBois chases down perps are all discussed.