IT IS HERE! LUKE PERRY, Y'ALL.

Are you holding onto your butts? Are you ready to have Law & Order: Special Victims Unit lay waste to your childhood? To destroy the sacred bond you shared with THE heartthrob of the '90s? To see the profound damage said heartthrob did to the very recognizable women he violated after leaving the glamorous environs of Beverly Hills?

In what might be the stuntcastiest episode in SVU's storied history, Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) does some pretty bad things to Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert), Carol Vecsey (Julie Bowen), and our collective innocence. This episode is what started this whole venture back when it little more than a bitchin' name. Yes, via this insane show, Dylan McKay rapes our youth.

The Randomizer doled out an episode well-suited for the pandemic in which we find ourselves with this week’s installment, “Retro” (S10E5). Martin Mull guest stars as a quack doc who pied pipes his followers to their AIDS-denying deaths. Along their dimwitted death march, we learn about a Gambian dictator who “cured” HIV/AIDS with a secret blend of herbs, revel in dunking on Christian Scientists, and explore how to avoid getting toxoplasmosis, all while dodging the cries of infants contained both within this episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and in real life.