It wouldn't be a peak-era SVU episode if we weren't treated to an investigative red herring that eats up an entire act of television only to be discarded unceremoniously, forever forgotten and treated as though it never have happened. That misdirect usually isn't a NINE MINUTE NECROPHILIA KICK that plays as exploitative and shocking, leaving the audience's collective jaws on the floor, all while having the perp in question just brush up against the periphery of the Unit's case. It's a real shocker, and "Waste" provides it. It also has nothing to do with the pregnant woman in a permanent vegetative state who was knocked up while in the hospital.

You'd think that an SVU centered around Scott Bakula tricking his mistress into putting their love child up for adoption would lend itself to hours of Quantum Leap conversation wondering just how Ziggy and Al let this whole situation get this out of hand, and that definitely happens, but so does a dive into a pretty heinous guest star, who lived through some gnarly trauma and then doled out plenty herself.

Just as important though, this episode emphatically chides parents who have the temerity to try to parent AND use their cell phones at the same time, and makes you wonder how more parents aren't clocking clear pedos at the park. If you ever wanted to know how to artificially inseminate your significant other in the comfort of your own home, Adam tries to tell you while Josh derails the conversation. And both Adam and Josh cry during this episode for very different reasons.

Another SVU, another bizarre cult. This time around, a certifiable quack of the cloning-will-save-humankind-from-the-depleting-ozone-layer variety has an entire organization hornswoggling teen girls with low self-esteem into becoming his own personal baby factories. Don't worry, it's not just non-sexual sex cult action we're dealing with this time around. No, we've got police brandishing their weapons and running hilariously, accents that spin you around, and surprising restraint from a cult leader who seems much more interested in playing God than hide the salami. Of course, talk of claims of human cloning took Adam down a strange rabbit hole into the Raëlians, and there are some wildly unexpected revelations with regards to this week’s guest stars, so there’s a ton of munchy weirdness afoot this week.

Alt episode title this week? Her Mouth Is a Melting Pot.