Helen of Troy might have had the face that launched a thousand ships, but this gem of a Season 12 SVU is the problematic hellscape that launched the Munch My Benson ranking system. Kids are never safe in SVU, and in this episode we see kids casually listing their prostitution fees, kids getting Meet-Joe-Blacked outside of a farmers' market, kids getting chained up and forced to drink cyanide, and kids destroying a bespoke, heirloom blueberry compote. This is one hell of a ride. Enjoy!

When proffered the box of “Pandora” (S4E15)—phrasing?—Josh and Adam were forced to deal with yet another episode of SVU wherein many children fell victim to an international cabal of pedos, complete with one getting to proudly espouse his party platform to the detectives of SVU and a network television audience. This one hurtles forward at breakneck speed, taking Elliot from New York to Prague and back before the final act has even started. Along the way, Adam and Josh marvel at the way that early SVU writers had no real concept of how computers and the internet worked, the defenestrations of Prague, the endless stream of actors who REALLY pass for pedos in the SVU stable, and the emergence of Zero Dark Stabler. We’ve said it many times previously, but the label definitely fits here—this one is wild.